In the good ole’ days, Christmas was easy. Everyone knew the songs you did and the Christmas show was invariably the same. All you needed was a piano and some tea towels. Now it is a lot more complicated and there are certain things you can and cannot do.
- You cannot sing traditional songs – “Away in a Manger” is banned as it mentions the “Little Lord Jesus”. One head said we could sing it if we changed the word “Lord” to “child”. “While shepherd’s watched” is meaningless because they are not watching anything any more.
- You cannot mention Jesus – he is banned in many schools unless they are faith schools. You can mention Santa as much as you like.
- All music must be recorded in three formats – 1) normal speed with vocals, 2) normal speed without vocals and 3) slow speed for rehearsal. This has to be recorded as you would exactly play it on the piano on the concert day. A robot would be much more beneficial than a trained music teacher.
- The songs for Christmas will not be chosen by a music teacher but by someone who knows nothing about music. This person will then instruct the music teacher exactly what they have to play based on a 12 second audio recording from YouTube. This is no joke, this really did happen.
- The music will have to be re-scored for the purposes required in point 3, the key changed so the children can attempt to sing it, new words created so they scan properly and the whole thing reduced in difficulty as they are originally written for professional pop or opera singers.
What are the implications of this?
- A shared common experience between generations has now been eradicated
- It de-professionalises trained music teachers
- All those resources and songbooks built over many years might as well be thrown away
I have nothing against good quality non-religious Christmas concerts. It’s just depressing that most of the alternatives are pretty devoid of content. If you do want to do a non-traditional Christmas show I would recommend many of the publications by “Out of the Ark” rather than relying on Youtube.